I'm so worried about how this f'ing thing looks, I'm not writing anything worthwhile.
ON another note, I had a lovely time yesterday eating
Everett & Jones BBQ by Lake Merritt. Bryan and I shared the BBQ beef and pork ribs, which are so tender they actually taste like beef themselves. Potato salad and sweet potatoes on the side. I've never been a fan of sweet potatoes. I'm now a convert.
After lunch, Bryan made a call, exchanged a few words and announced that our friends were having lunch near Jack London Square, literally across the street from where we'd just been. We were headed back to there to meet up with them.
Let the panic commence.
I immediately go from feeling perfectly comfortable to horribly frightened. My breath speeds, throat and chest tighten, fists ball up and my eyes begin the flood. It's involuntary.
"What's wrong?" Bryan asks, placing a hand on my knee.
"Nothing," I bark. He doesn't relent with "what's wrong?"ing me.
"Because I don't want anyone to see me!" I wail (we're inside the car now, not at lake's edge.
He says we'll go home but I say no as we've already told them we're on the way.
I felt ugly and awkward like the Hunchback of Lake Merritt. I feel like a monster some of the time. I don't want to see anyone because then
they will see me.
Meeting up with our friends proved to be a nice way to end the afternoon. The beast went back inside its cage for the day. Or maybe everyone does see the beast I think I am and it's actually quite a nice creature.
