Brain that launched a thousand quips

On the 15th day in the month of May, year Two Thousand and Ten, one writer decided she could either put finger to keyboard and give her thoughts to the greater consciousness or continue indulging in the soul-erasing habit of devouring bad television and making snarky comments to herself and the dog (yes, audibly conferring with a german shepherd named Baxter. The cat, Tigger, prefers to read). At six minutes passed the 22nd hour, the writer decided on a title for her tale, put her rusty fingers to the familiar keys and began.

This is that story.